i hate hate hate when people ask me to guess their or someone they love’s age:

A = Attorney i’m currently working for

M = Me

A – here’s a picture of my fiance. (hands me a framed photo of a normal looking woman)

M – oh wow! she’s beautiful.  what a nice shot.

A - isn’t it? guess how old she is.

M – [think quick: she looks 45, so say a few years younger than that...but you know she has a 15 year old daughter that she had when she was 40...so you know she's 55....say 43]  43?  maybe 44? (in my ‘that would be stretching it’ voice)

A – (very pleased) Fifty-Five!

M – no, are you serious?  she looks amazing…she doesn’t have one wrinkle! [almost true...i maybe saw 3, still not bad for a 55 y/o woman]

A – i know!

M – wow, she looks great.

A – yeah (happy)

whew…that one’s over.  i hope no one ever asks me someone’s age again…it’s too stressful.

why/how can we pluralize the word sky

there is only one.

thought of that, this morning, pre-caffeination of course.

awwwwww helennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

who’s holding who up?

that’s how i feel.

i don’t feel misplaced, because that would indicate that i know where i’m supposed  to be placed…

i have no idea where i’m supposed to be right now…and i think it’s geographical.  i know i feel totally uncomfortable living at home and maybe even living in boston.

maybe i’m having a case of what is called: re-patriation something-or-other.

but i didn’t live abroad for that long so i don’t know if i can completely chock it up to that.

eh, just random thoughts.  back to summarizing depositions.

yesterday morning i woke up unemployed and yesterday evening i went to sleep with two jobs.

hustler-mode activated.  and not your RICH hustler-mode but your “scramblin’ to make ends” kind of hustler-mode.

it’s cool…i know how to do this.

the unexpected part is…my full-time job is with a law firm and i never thought i’d be back in the legal field….but i’m enjoying this part of it…

one never really knows themself…

i have no means for livelihood and it’s killing my joy.

i have no internet…i feel like a huge mooch going to wifi offering cafes…

i have no job…i AM a huge mooch for hanging at home while i find the “right job for me as a person”…there comes a point where you should just take anything that pays you and i’m slowly approaching that point.

i have bills.  bills steal joy from me on a continual basis.

but there are some pluses to this:  i don’t have to wake up every morning dreading the putting on of business attire, reporting to my boss, pretending to be busy….you know…corporate life.

i also have a really supportive family who thinks it’s perfectly fine for me to do my soul-searching at 24 and 11/12ths….so i’m all around a lucky person.

that’s all.

i miss beijing a lot and i’ve been told i’ve come back a more somber girl.  i don’t know if i’ll ever get my old self back but maybe it was time for the old self to develop into this new self anyway.

blab blab blab.

a photo from umbria…it has all my lovies in it so it has to go up:

all i have to say is thank god for sharon being around my height….shit.  i look like a friggin’ giant.

happy belated to heleny…there aren’t words to say how much i love and adore you.  you’ve been more than a rock in my life and i’ll be forever indebted to you.  you’re the best, and never forget that.  trooper.