okay so i’m skipping over “the cat” on my list of things to blog about (my only true documentation of thought while here in china) because it just wasn’t that memorable. on to the toe. Camel Toe, that is.
god, i mean i wish i had photos of what i’m about to talk about. it’s unfuckingbelievable what these women put their vaginas through, everyday. it all goes down like this:
i’m walking down the street and i look up to see (usually) a petite woman with her pants up at actual waist level (for those who are under 35, it’s in between your rib area and where you really wear your pants- hip bones) safely secured with a belt, to ensure no movement occurs that may result in a lower placement, preventing the severe Camel Toe they’re donning.
and i cringe. if you’re a man reading this, it’s like watching the guys walk around with the billy ray cyrus tight ass jeans…you just feel uncomfortable. i cringe on behalf of all of the scrunched up and cleaved punani out here, in beijing.
and you’d think it ends outside with the masochistic belt buckling at the rib cage to pull pants right up the middle….but it even occurs at the gym.
i’m at the gym and i see this woman and her poor vagina walking around in exercise pants hiked all the way up there, ready for some chaffing cardio work on the treadmill, i’m sure. and then i look around….and it’s everywhere.
and it’s not like they have good reason to have the Camel Toe…and there ARE reasons:
- you’re a rather large girl in spandex, for one reason or another. fatty tissue dissipates where it will with spandex and it can’t always be helped.
- you’ve gone down a waterslide. i think it’s fair to say it can happen with both bikini wearers and bathing suit wearers, alike.
- you’re wearing jeans that are just too damn tight. hey, it happens. and not always is it realized until it’s a day too late and you realize you’ve been Camel Toe’ing all over the place.
and in all honesty…as soon as any of these circumstances arise, one would normally remedy them immediately. nay, here in china.
they embrace it. these aren’t chubby girls in spandex rockin’ the Toe…they’re slim and sometimes skinny-beyond-belief women….and there are no waterslides here, so that excuse is out of the question….and with the tight jeans thing….these girls are slim, as mentioned, wearing loose-fitting jeans.
that rigid belt placement and their desire to suffocate one of the most sacred organs on a woman’s body is what’s doing it all and i can’t for the life of me, understand it: why.
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